Obliquely Divine

I have found it, found it...manna for the soul, hope for the future (beyond online tarot). It is an obscure program for Macs, called Oblique Strategies, that has uncanny instincts and readings of your soul and delivers wisdom, with one click...such as..

Your mistake was a hidden intention *deep ponderous voice*

Aaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!

With that slight yoda-istic edge of grammar being wrong, or so right that it sounds wrong, obliqueness and terrifying way of making my eyes widen, as if I have suddenly seen the light and it is just a degree more blinding than the tubelight (yo, try staring at a tubelight!)

Yes, I have found it. All my life's decisions will henceforth be based on Oblique Strategies, and also it doesn't always require the Internet. Hence it may ofcourse repeat, but till I get bored...I have a reliable confidante, a comrade, companero, friend...guide... (you could ask how is this different from the actual human sorts, but don't. Oblique Strategies says in response to that question that ---What would your closest friends do? *sweet tinkly voice*)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
It is so puuuuurrrrfect

Q: Should I send a nude photograph with my face showing to Sexy-thrill-of-the-month?
OS: Bridges-build-burn *naara baazi shout*

Huh? but nonetheless revelatory ..worthy of ahaa..trailing to ...hmmmm

Q: What the fuck to do about this silly project I have to work on?
OS: Try faking it *wink and rani mukherjee whisper*

Ooooooooo....luuuuv faking work. OS knows me, understands me. *blush*

Q: Should I contact this person who is easily the biggest man-slut this side of ... ahem...gay men?
OS: Do nuuuuuuuthing for as long as possible *exactly like a friend of mine*

Aaa Aaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa *shouting from multiple orgasm of joy+revelation*

At this point let me introduce this friend of mine - a gay man who has recently taken to saying "My life is over". Far-from-over is beautiful, currently has a nice tan and great taste in clothes. He needs a spanking, maybe he should get together with Sexy-thrill-of-the-month. (you are not allowed to tell me that S-T-O-T-M was here in July also, and it is now September).

Q: What is the meaning of life?
OS: Emphasize the flaws *dismissive tone*

Hmmmmm....it lost me, but probably it is telling me that the flaw is in my question, not in the answer.

Q: Am I attracted to a certain somebody?
OS: Only a part, not the whole *girlfriendly tone*

HOHOHO *Santa Claus just burst forth inside me*