If you ever want to have a good laugh at yourself access your very own Google Search History, which is conveniently coloured in shades of green. Darker on days when you frantically googled every word that flitted through your brain, middish green where you actually worked and googled only relevant stuff, palish green for laconic days, when you only googled because you wanted to book a hostel in some city far away, and off the charts green when you were chatting with someone new and erudite and scholarly (and maybe slightly painful, but you haven't discovered that yet) and you've googled every author, every book, every movie he's mentioned.
To me the first sign that I'm losing interest in someone is if they say something, and I say - what is that, without googling it first. Its also what I do with friends, its easier to just ask them, some of them come with Google Searches in their brains faster than anything I've seen (for e.g. Hope-of-male-species). Hope-of-male-species once led me to Google Fight to help me decide which man I should choose. He said it was probably more reliable than online tarot readings.
Now I'm ashamed to admit, but online tarot readings shows up a lot in my Google Personal Search History (which the government is also watching I'm sure). This is because I refuse to admit that I'm addicted and that I use it to decide almost everything, even whether I should go to the concert in Melkweg or Paradiso. Alternately, I know, I could dump both in Babel Fish and figure out what the fuck is really happening in English and not in Dutch, but online tarot is a "powerful means of understanding complex situations" and gives me an answer that tells me that I am under the influence of a card that signifies Air and is also Five of Science (Division), which means that when faced with the decision of whether to go for Noondlanding(pop) or Crossfader (hiphop), I'm "feeling overwhelmed and unable to focus on the whole problem. Being unable to cut yourself loose. Being mentally hung up. Personal entanglements. Intellectually split. Divided loyalties. Inaction through indecision."
I knew that, goddamit. What I always hope that online tarot will tell me, with an appropriate burst of stars, sudden tinkling music from Moulin Rouge, is you will meet an amazing smart, articulate black man, who will be wearing spectacles and will be able to speak Dutch enough to get you a drink without struggling, but will also speak enough English to get dirty words over the loud music by the middle of the concert, and half an hour after the concert have you hanging on his lips, with hands hooked on his trouser front, in Amsterdam, between Bethaniendwars Straat and Keizergracht Plein...
But Google Search History is a scary invention, if I was scared of being watched (which considering my nationality, history of semi-political work etc. maybe I should be) but I'm guessing the government has bigger fish to fry than to find my search history while in Amsterdam. They are sitting in a room, looking at a print-out of my search history, its neat lists of bondage submission sites, erotic photography sites, anxious porings through sites on bondage going wrong, participation and frentic watching of online polls on what is preferred -shaved, waxed or trimmed, and saying ...tsk tsk...Check this one at the customs for sex toys, just to embarass her.
By the way, I have used online tarot for important life decisions. In retrospect, it was all bad. So ...no more online tarot in my google search. Should I say this, what does the 'Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn' say? Maybe I should do Stichtomancy to find out (I'm not that fucked out that I'll do Bibliomancy now) what I should do... I knew I should have bookmarked that page. Fuck, now I have to google it again..
There was a day when Google sweetly (Google in my mind looks a bit like an aging, balding, sometimes funny like my father, but much more scientific, very very Indian man, with a dark side that does filtering and corporate ass sucking, but is mostly unaware of what the fuck is going on).. anyway (i heart brackets) Google told me... eh...you've visited online tarot reading 56 times, and its only 2:00 in the afternoon. Either he'll come online or not, today, I don't care, but online tarot will loose its essential beautiful random logic that sustains its ability to answer your stupid questions, if you ask the same question so many times.
Online Tarot Readings at www.facade.com
If you have gmail, you can sign into your Google Account and it will give you an option to access your Personal Search History. Alternately you can find a nerd like Hope-of-male-species to tell you how to locate it on your hard drive, you can contact him easily ....he's a pop-up at the end of a long list of men in your life.
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