its not going to stop...

Wise up from Magnolia Soundtrack


Did you know that one in a million flights crash? But did you know each flight changes global climate? In the midst of often praying that it be my flight that crashes (often for the sheer drama, besides a million to one are good odds to pray against) I wonder if this is how relationships are. A one in a million actually crash and fully self-destruct, the others just continue to deteriorate your living conditions to the point when you say -- okay, collectively as a human race -- we have to get rid of the following things
1. inefficient aviation fuel consumption
2. heteronormativity

This is what I wrote a year ago. Though 'stuff' can be as hurtful as it always has been, there's the beautiful acerbic tone of the freshly hurt, still bleeding and juicy. Much as I graze the edges of inexplicable sorrow now, I can't quite get that tone.. :-)

The song is from Magnolia, the only time that I have actually enjoyed Tom Cruise in a role, discounting the juvenile enjoyment and fixation on Top Gun. Magnolia is the movie I watched four years ago, when my lover (then) was snuggling up with his ex, because I had said, very graciously and stupidly ofcourse, that I would be okay/fine with it. It almost feels like I say xx years ago too much .. its a good thing I haven't watched that many reruns of Buffy to actually turn immortal and have too long a life.

The song is a suicide risk's wet dream.. watch out for the last words.